Can We Separate Achievement from Ego?

“The longing for love that is in every child is the longing to be recognized, not on the level of form, but on the level of being.” Eckhart Tolle, Awakeing  to Your Life’s Purpose.

Ever have the desire to be loved for who you are and not what you achieve? Ever have the desire to be loved for who you are and not your possessions, income, title, status, good looks, or athleticism?

I can remember feeling more loved when I achieved good grades than when I didn’t. I can remember feeling more loved when I achieved first place than when I was second. It might have been my imagination. Then I remember getting more attention from women when I had position, income, a nice house and some nice cars.

I am sure half my motivation for achievement was to feel worthwhile and to get the attention I wanted. I was happy with my achievement and I was happy with the attention. I was wondering, who was manipulating who? I was liked because I achieved and I could assume greater liberties because of it.

This circle is what causes stress in our society. The people above me were striving for more income, status, and power. They were willing to reward me for my contribution. I was looking for more of what they had. It’s what powers the global economy.

Our minds’ revel in the conflict, pain, and unhappiness of sustaining this never ending circus. Eckhart Tolle discusses the pain-body and how a part of each of us really does like to feel unhappiness now and then. If we have an opportunity to blame, resent, complain, or show anger, it feeds this egoistic need. It gives us identity even if it is negative. Being a victim is also an explanation of why we haven’t achieved faster.

“Behind every negative self concept is the desire to be greater or better than others. Behind the need for superiority is the fear of inferiority.” Tolle

“Our ego has three states: wanting, thwarted wanting, and indifference.” Tolle. We become the victims of our ego states as opposed to being the masters. Separating our true self from our ego requires being able to recognize its thinking.

Unconsciousness is doing what we think. Consciousness is being aware of what we are thinking. Higher levels of consciousness and happiness require that we watch our mind think and decide whether or not to follow.

Let’s say our mind says we would feel better by eating a second piece of chocolate cake. The unconscious mind eats it. Let’s say our mind says we are insulted by someone’s words, actions, or behavior and should punch them in the nose. The unconscious mind, gang, cult, religion, or nation punches them in the nose.

The ego is very self centered. It’s agenda is often transparent. It is rarely generous or altruistic unless there is a self serving payoff. The ego would rarely understand “paying it forward.”  It is more interested in payment in advance.

Can we understand that the need to achieve is not really who we are if the payoff is a sensual or gratification reward. The need to feel worthwhile is more Spiritually generated by giving.

The Kabbala says that the Creator can only give and man can only receive. After man has received to his fullest he finds gratitude. Then he wants to emulate the Creator by giving to others. If man could achieve 100% altruistic giving, he would merge with the Creator.

It is unlikely that we can achieve that end. We can feel gratitude immediately. We can appreciate our Oneness. We can feel a purpose of finding happiness and developing our gifts. We can keep others in mind as we live our lives and help others find happiness, acceptance, belonging, community.

“In the eyes of the ego, self esteem and humility are contradictory; in truth they are one and the same.”  Tolle

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Read “Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose” by Eckhart Tolle

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